The Captive Bird............Me.

                                                                   

Forgiveness.............Forgiving..............First I must tell myself "This is something you will NOT accomplish as an individual." I must have Faith that God will guard my heart of hate. I can definitely say the past eleven years........well........even farther back than that, have been years that have been tailor made to carry me through all of my paths in life. I know everyones experiences make them who they are, but do ALL experiences REALLY aid in making you a better person, or is it really a test of that historical question..... Nature vs Nurture.  I have witnessed evil in people that I have never before seen with my own two eyes. People taking advantage of me in moments that should be sacred. People thinking too much of themselves and being quick to say....It's not cancer, when in fact it was. I have seen people raise there voices in hatred and anger....all in the name of God, according to them anyways.  I cringe to think about it. I have lived through events that have me questioning every childhood lesson, leaving myself to say," Am I hearing this right?" Why? I have looked pure ignorance in the eye and a flood of what feels like lava builds in my chest and bursts straight up and down flying out of my feet and head...my body has quivered with pain and disappointment........physically damaging my body, heart and mind. I have found myself building a wall........a VERY thick wall of protection.Or I thought it was protection..................THANKFULLY........My cries for sanity and comfort were heard. I WILL not and Cannot hate, despise, reject, ignore, take lightly, be annoyed etc, of these events or persons anymore. I MUST forgive. I MUST FORGIVE. God sees me fail EVERY day and he forgives me with a open heart and arms. He sees when I feel lonely or upset and comforts me every time.....every day. I can breathe deep.  I am thankful that there are people for me to forgive. It teaches me patience, humility, it shows me that God IS in my heart because I recognize the NEED for me to be more like HIM. To feel for others because they have caused so much pain, just as I have, but I have been forgiven. I know I ramble but I truly feel enlightened on the situation. To NOT forgive would mean I was a prisoner in THEIR own personal hell. I am falling in the same negative emotion and life that they are miserable in. I will no longer hate, but forgive them and hope they find the humility to ask forgiveness from God, because if they don't, well.......I would wish hell for no one.  I pray God keeps showing me patience and humility, I have much to learn but I feel relief already.        

Yay for our New Couch!!!!

                                                                
This is our much dreamed about new couch. I suggest it to anyone with back problems. I have browsed online for MONTHS  wondering if I would be able to find just the right one. My hubby and our current couch does not mix well. His upper back, left shoulder blade to be exact, is in constant stiffness or pain. But with the all adjustable cushion backing and the five throw pillows he can rest his arms on top of all of them....perfectly stretching his shoulder into a comfortable position. Plus, it is so big and squishy that my feet dangle!!!! We went to good ole' Value City for a great deal and price. Or else we would have been out of luck;) I am soooo thankful and excited for it to be delivered in 1 wk and 2 days:)  Anyways...... here are some other finds that I will be saving up for......

                                                  
This is a flat wall art bird cage that holds pics or old cards. I loved it because I have always kept unique cards from friends or family. So now they can be out for me to admire everyday!

                                    
Now for rugs........ugh......why must they be soooooo expensivo? This first one was a rug I really liked but the second one is more reasonable when it comes to dirt. Any suggestions would be great! Well enough about my obsession with decorating. I hope everyone is having a great week so far........

                                                                          

My New Job!!!

                                                                                 

I have recently started working for a company that assists in daily care for adults with special needs. I have always migrated towards this type of work. It is often hard and very challenging but the smiles, hugs, and laughs of our clients wipe away all the rough times. I feel bad referring to them as clients but for sake of privacy I must do so.  I have learned a lot from them just in the two days I have been there. When we have karaoke they sing to the top of their lungs without a care in the world.....when we have a dance party they dance to their fullest, (believe me lol). When they care for someone,  they love them and show affection without hesitation. I am grateful that these precious new people in my life have touched my heart already. Today I realized how "innocent" we all tend to be. Even myself. One client was so upset because the hair salon school cancelled classes so he couldn't get his hair cut. Let me also add he is almost completely bald. So my first reaction was to think...how precious.....but then I said to myself........Emily....don't take this lightly....there are many situations that you looked forward to and when plans changed you were very upset........And that is soooo true. I myself have had trouble adapting to change and disappointment. Even if it wasn't important to someone else....it was important to me. So with my heart truly upset for him I tried to console him the best way I knew how.......by letting him talk about it:). One of my clients held my hand today and flicked at my wedding ring. It was kind of a bonding moment.....I can't explain it but it just was. I am praying for my special clients. For their independence in daily living and a newfound respect for themselves. I pray I have the right words & actions that will help them in their time of need. I thank God for giving me the ability to help others. I am thankful for my personal freedom to live day to day as I wish and value that responsibility so much more. To eat, walk, run, reach for something, talk, express my feelings, see, drive, etc..........is so much to be thankful for. I am looking forward for work tomorrow.....and not too many people can say that. So for that I am also thankful:)